Remember back to a time in South Africa when homosexual marriages were not legal? Well now it is! How exciting is that? In 2006, gay marriages were declared legal in our beautiful country and once again the gays went crazy! Some of us celebrated like Bafana Bafana won the world cup, others ran off to Robben Island to get married. Sadly, most of those marriages ended in divorce. The wedding bug bit me a few years after. Yes, I was on my way to get married. Of course, not everyone wanted to believe it because marriage is something so serious and I, well as you may have noticed, am not a very serious person. So I decided to start sending out invitations. The invite went a little like this. “Come and share in this very Gay occasion with us. Close friends and family, nothing big, budget is a little small. Enjoy a light seafood platter (how ironic to have something fishy at a lesbian wedding reception), and finger treats (mom was not impressed with this one).”
No surprise, the disbelief continued. However, so many were curious to see me in a dress, so theykept hoping it’s not a joke. I always said I never want to wear a dress on my wedding day because I’d take the spot light off my bride. Also didn’t want to confuse our reverent. The man does not believe in gay marriages, but his slightly blind and if I wore a suite he wouldn’t know the difference.
I get that a lot. Once on one of my road trips; I needed to use a public toilet at an Engen one stop. A woman and her daughter were standing there, looked at me all weird, and she started shouting “Young man, the little boy’s room is next door, get out you are frightening my daughter”. I tried showing her my boobs but that did not help my case at all. So a friend of mine suggested I drive around with a dress in my car so whenever I want to use a public toilet, I just put the dress on and I’m good to go.
So I in a dress am a pretty big thing in my circle of friends. Sadly they never got to see me in a wedding dress…yes we cancelled.
What would the reverent have said anyway? “I now pronouns you wife and wife” This led to the most confusing argument I’ve ever had. Someone said “marry a guy and you won’t be gay”, I replied, yes if I marry a guy I will not be gay. And they said “so you agree?” I said yes I do agree, because that guy will not make me HAPPY.
I would have love for the rev to say “I now pronouns you Gay” this way my marriage would have been blessed with happiness…don’t you agree?
