'When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person by an emotional link that is stronger than steel.
Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link, and get free' Catherine Ponder
Oscar Wilde said that to forgive your enemy was the greatest revenge.
I think that he was right.
I know that one of my greatest lessons and challenges has been forgiveness. I have an elephantine memory and I have in my time remembered infractions going back to primary school days.
However having said that, I also watched my Mother die and in doing so I realised that her cancer was the direct result of unforgiveness (and 40 years of smoking!)
It is said in psycho circles and esoteric manuals that depression is anger turned inwards. I believe that the anger is a result of hurt; and that is then directly related to forgiveness.
Or the lack thereof.
Over the last year or so I have had to come to terms with great pain, anger, injustice and forgiveness.
Not necessarily in that order!
K likes to ask me if I enjoy dragging my past around. ‘Is it working for you ‘she has often asked.
The answer is a resounding no.
I have had to dig deep, and find a place of understanding to truly let go and forgive.
At times it is impossible to find motivation for the bad behaviour of loved ones, or friends’ hurtful actions or their downright crazy bad-assed shit that defies logic or understanding!
But I have come to understand that forgiveness does not depend on understanding another’s motivation. It does not hinge on my acceptance of them in any way. My forgiveness is a personal experience and depends entirely on me.
You do not need to involve any one else in your letting go. You do not need to phone them, or write them. B.B.M’s are not required nor is any form of social media or other interaction.
All you need is you.
And a desire to free yourself from your emotional bondage to that action or person.
There are many ways of doing this:
You can use visualisation techniques. Use the role play method where you sit with a chair facing you and imagine a conversation with the person who has wronged you. N.L.P can be a very powerful tool. You can write a letter that you never send, where you pour your heart out and let go.
These methods can be cathartic and you will feel an instantaneous difference in your body, mind and soul.
These are just some of the techniques that you can use to release yourself. It is worthwhile finding literature to help you, or if you need to go to a deeper level, then counselling or therapy is advisable.
I know that for me, forgiveness has released me from a dead weight I was dragging around with me.
I also know that it is ongoing, as we are human after all, and get hurt or misunderstand or take things up the wrong way.
I like to think that with forgiveness a little wisdom seed is planted. This seed brings gifts, one of them in the form of better communication, so as to not get into situations where resentment and anger can boil up and turn into poisonous unforgiveness again.
This brings me to my tattoo. The one I had done last year, which stands as a daily reminder of my greatest lesson in life....
I am.................... Forgiven.
And I have Forgiven.
Gandhi, in his erudite way, summed forgiveness up by saying ‘the weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong’
I love that. Because it is so true.
It is so much easier to wallow in anger and meanness, it is so much harder to face your enemy and forgive them.
Forgiveness takes courage. Strength and love.
Why would you want to live any other way?
I am and I have....
Originally published on http://justnotliketheothers.blogspot.com